No matter how frustrated you get or the threats you make, nothing seems to get him to cooperate. The defiance triggers a raw anger you never knew you had, and you wonder what it’ll finally take to get him to listen. Not only that, a smile spread across his face, as if the whole thing was a big joke.ĭealing with a toddler not listening to what you ask him to do is challenging even for the most patient mom. I had hoped my tone of voice would help, but instead, he stayed rooted in place, playing with the cars. “That means you have to stop and put those cars back in the box.” “It’s time to put the toys away,” I tried again, my patience waning. He continued playing with the cars, as if he didn’t hear me. I had been trying to implement a cleanup routine after play time, starting with all the toys strewn all over the floor.Įxcept, he wasn’t having it. “It’s cleanup time! Can you put the cars back in the box?” I asked my toddler. If you talk to the school they can help.Frustrated when your child disobeys on purpose or pushes your buttons? Learn how to discipline a toddler who doesn’t listen or ignores you. There is a lot of support for children now. He is fighting himself, trying to be normal. They will copy your feelings speech and behaviour. You need to be calm as behaviour has a mirroring effect. Once they know how easy it is to wind him up. Children often siblings are very quick to judge and are often very cruel too. It's this confrontation of arguing that starts (fuels the rage} of confusion and shame for getting something wrong. My son who was a very clever lad would challenge every one regardless of who they were. Could be he likes things done in a certain way. Autistic tantrum, caused by confusion and frustration. Anyway, I do hope your little grandson will get all the help he needs and will be able to return to his mum's care it must be heartbreaking for you all. The boy himself hated his violent behaviours and admitted that he was actually very depressed about it. In another case where the child did have a diagnosis of autism the therapist made a den for the 14 year old boy under his bed and he went in there when life was getting too much for him. It seemed to be having some good effects. She advocated an approach where the child was not punished for violence but was drawn close, touched and spoken to in a very calming voice. It was interesting that the therapist involved put the behaviours down to high levels of anxiety caused by the parents' relationship difficulties and also other stresses in the mother's life in his early years. I am not sure if this is of any help, but I watched a TV programme a week or so back called 'My violent child' (Channel 5 I think). I was saddened and interested in what you have written as my grandson who is only 5 has been displaying very similar behaviours, particularly towards his mother (who is separated from his father). By the way, my grandson is really well behaved at school most of the time, the only issues he has I would say are normal for a child of his age, ie spats in the playground, nothing violent. If anyone has any helpful ideas of where to go next I would love to hear them. He told me this morning that he thought he should go into care so that he wouldn't hurt anyone any more, this is heart breaking as we love him so much and just want him to have a happy, healthy childhood. He is staying with myself and his grandad at the moment, as his aggression towards his mum was escalating to such a degree that we felt it was better to remove him from the situation. My grandson knows that his behaviour is out of control, but he doesan't know how to stop himself. At the last visit she requested a referral to a paediatrician, and was told this was CAHMS responsibility, then guess what? CAHMS (at a meeting with my daughter, support workers, schoolnurse, headmistress and myself) said it was the responsibility of the GP, so now we have letters flying backwards and forwards between GP and CAHMS, but this is all taking time, time that we don't feel we have. My daughter has been to the GP several times for help. My grandson can be the most loving and affectionate little boy one minute, then an absolute monster the next. As a family they are being supported by a Surestart Support worker who I must say has been brilliant, CAHMS are now involved, but it took them 18 months to decide this, originally they said 'because he was not like it all the time, it was not a mental health issue'. He lashes out, then invites you to hit back, when we don't he just hits, or kicks, more. We have not actually had a diagnosis for my grandson yet, but his extreme behaviour has been getting progressively worse over the past three years, to a point now, where he is violent towards my daughter and his sister, and on occasion to me.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |